Friday the 13th for reals

Last night ended up being horrible. Neighbors on two sides (two DIFFERENT houses of part time criminals) of me were up at 1 am in the morning, yelling, sounding like they were going to walk right through our yard. One of them is especially WHACKED and freaky to me, a middle-aged guys who has a meth habit. To add to this, during the second breakdown of fear in my bedroom, what I thought was a black widow was scaling my bedroom wall. I tried to kill it around 1:30 am with a mop, but it fell and I didn't know if it died or not. All the while Art was on the phone from Long Beach coaching me through this... and then after I knocked it down, I was freaked out that I would wake up with it in my eye since I didn't know if it was dead (like a cockroach I once knew). Plus the low roar of a man's voice seemed right outside our outside bedroom (behind us there are some druggie types and they wander drunk occasionally INTO our yard or house)so at this point I was feeling claustrophobic out in the bedroom. So , angered and scared and alone, I moved my stuff into the house where I laid the futon out. Just as I started to feel cozy and lay down and change into pajamas, the freakiest thing happened. A car pulled up on the street outside the front of our house, and some guys got out and began speaking in what sounded like mixed English and Spanish. Usually when people are out on the sidewalk it sounds EXTREMELY close to our house, and so I just stood still to make sure all was kosher. Mind you, it's now 2 am plus. Art's cell phone battery had died and so he was no longer on the phone. Then I realize it sounds like these two guys are walking up my front steps to the front door. IT SCARED THE LIVING HELL OUT OF ME. They were so loud it sounded like they were already IN MY HOUSE. It was part Spanish so I couldn't understand what they were saying and I was also frozen solid. What they were saying didn't sound nice or regular, it sounded gruff and pissed and mean. But maybe my mind was playing tricks on me. All I know is, after being so scared for two hours that I had even ended up crying in my bedroom (when the spider flew off the wall) the adrenaline in my body rose into my throat. I felt like I was EATING adrenaline. I literally thought these guys were going to try to come in my house. It was locked of course, but still, I thought they were approaching to harass me. So I called Cameron's phone. I was EATING adrenaline and I was absolutely shaking. No answer. I called again. Still no answer. As I was calling the second time I saw these guys go around the side of my house and toward the next door apartment. I should have been relieved but as they walked by one of them was looking in my giant side kitchen window, and some of my lights were on so I know he saw me. I can't tell if already knew I was in there. Finally, Art called back on Cameron's cell phone. At this point I am crying, again. Shaking... seriously, EATING adrenaline. Adrenaline is the weirdest feeling ever. I felt like I could have thrown a couch 50 feet. Living in a town with only acquaintances sucks. There was no one I could call for help close by if I needed it. Even Art's parents are 15 minutes away. And unfortunately, there are druggies on two sides of my adorable little house. Finally, after talking to Art, I programmed the police phone number into my phone and fell asleep around 3am with my hand on the phone. It was so lame.

Today I had to get up at 8 and go babysit my brothers and sisters in law. Art's cruising through Santa Barbara, having a blast. The difference between when I went on my road trip with Heather and Darin and Joey is that Art got to be at home WITH HIS BROTHER. It sucks being in a town where I just don't know anyone well enough to call them up for support. Tonight I might not sleep here.

To add to my effed up Friday the 13th, we got a 150.00 shut-off notice for water and SEWAGE today. It was hanging like a handy little gift on our doorknob, when I got home from babysitting. There was a 50.00 fee just for the notice. How lame. I hate my life today. I especially hate jobs, having to have a job, economy, using unjust energy like gasoline in order to be close to people I love, and bills.

Money will be the death of me.