Farewell Jerry Okumura

The memorial for Jerry Okumura happened Saturday night at Finnon Lake in Swansboro. Those of us who were there knew how lucky we were to be part of such a special ceremony. We all know what a great family the Okumuras are and this night just brought us all closer together, as friends, family, human beings on earth.

I have learned that to be together with friends and loved ones when someone dies is vital. I was amazed but not surprised by the amount of people who stood up to talk about Jerry and all the different perspectives on his life. There were hundreds of people gathered together to celebrate the life of a man who was generous, strong, wise and loving. Hearing his wife, Jan, such a dear and kind person, speak with a voice rich with love and sadness, was so heartbreaking. And then to see Stan, who we all know and love, humbly leading the ceremony with the voice of an adult and a kid at once, a voice full of emotion and gratitude, was a blessing. To see him and his friends, who have been family to him all his life, dealing with this loss together, with tears, hugs, and genuine pure affection for each other. The things Joey said, so bravely in front of everyone, were said with a poet's soul and sweet love. To have that kind of love so present is a humbling and awesome experience. It brings our families together so that we share joy and sorrow, as a community. And to see a life so respected, so honored and cherished, reminded me of the fragility of our short years on earth and the importance of all the connections we make here, the way that love generated outlasts everything temporal and shines in the sun on a lake where geese fly and dragonflies dance.

I am grateful to be part of Stan's life and to have attended this memorial and to have heard these stories and cried these tears and hugged those around me. and I am grateful to a night that seemed to never end, to riding with about twelve other people in the back of Martin's truck in the middle of the Swansboro darkness down bumpy rustic roads, jostling in the truckbed and several more friends up front, singing at the top of our lungs and then unloading at the pond where we all went nightswimming in the warm mossy water. I am grateful to sweet kaitlyn with loss in her eyes and endless stories. I am grateful to singing "case of you" with emily before we went to sleep, while joey played guitar, everyone together in the darkness. i am grateful to sleeping outside on the dirt in a sleeping bag next to darin and waking up in the cool morning, before the sun to the busy sounds of birds and mosquitos and roosters. all our friends quietly breathing and sleeping around us on the ground and in tents. i am glad to have driven home so slowly and carefully at six in the morning as the hot july sun came up slowly over the hills, down the switchbacks, across the river, over that rickety bridge, past vineyards and barns and wildflowers, listening to music together and thinking and dreaming and being glad to be alive.