girl or career,
LA or Santa Cruz
LA or Santa Cruz
Big City or Little Life
Happiness or Happiness
Now or Never
Life or Death
Win or Lose
Two WEEKS LEFT
HELP ME HELP ME
HELP MEE!
Ok a little overdramatic.
I bring about this poem in a considerably unfortunate time of my life: to decide between two terrible truths: girl or goal.
There comes a time in every man's life when two extremely positive, extremely opposite opportunities stare blatantly into one's scrunchy little face. Then the scenario becomes increasingly more urgent, the stakes skyrocket in intensity by the 1000's and one is left to decide in a swirling turmoil ..
life VS death.
love VS life.
city VS sea.
girl vs career.
No, I answer. They are not mergable fields to tread upon. The dichotomy is separated evenly, unjoinably, since LA and Santa Cruz are physically unable to become closer together in any way.
And so I'm left, after 1300 miles in Rocinante and a week of money-spending clothes-buying time-of-life-having sight-seeing LA-ing future-building and loveliness, here I am plop back down in Placerville for yet another very late night of overcontemplativity.
I know many of you have had feelings for, well, somebody before.
Well fancy that I haven't.
Then just as I finish school and prepare for the biggest move of my life, around the corner comes the most unexpecting curveball to supercede any young 20-something's college career. A person.
And so I cry out for help. Knowing she'll probably not be reading this and also knowing that you all might have a little healthy insight on the whole ordeal (because my deadline for choosing which Community College I'm going to attend is in very rapid approach)
....
WHERE SHOULD I LIVE IN THE FALL?
(which means, beginning in 2 weeks. Pville? Sac? San Jose? Berkeley? San Francisco? LA? Santa CRUZ? One of these devilish ideas, surely.)
Somebody tell me. NOW. NOW NOW NOW. I can't have this indecisive freedom-pain ANY LONGER.
Thank you, almighty conjurerors. Will be speaking with you all, soon.
Love,
Sweetface
PS - maybe I should just get into another play. Clearly I have too much mind on my hands.
5 comments:
oh mikie! maybe all dichotomies are false. it's funny you should mention it because last night at work ryan asked me, all sweetly and earnestly, "as an english person, can you explain to me what a dichotomy is?" it was cute. we talked about it for a while. and now this....the ultimate...and yet i still think you CAN have it all. except i haven't really figured out how yet. how does SHE feel about all this??? is she wanting you to hang out in santa cruz or does she think it would still work "long distance" if you lived in l.a.? can't wait to talk to you...i'm at work 11-4ish. love heather
if you come in today don't say anything to ryan about him asking me about dichotomy...he'd be embarrassed. see you soon sweetface!
I'm with heather. You can totally have it all. Go to L.A. If its going to work out with the girl it will no matter where you are. But you don't want to stay and have it not work out and then you will also have missed out on L.A. This is your life. Do what Mikie wants, and all will work out. Love you, and love you even more for writing and breaking the dry spell.
I love what Amy wrote! I'm with her on that, and of course what I always say, I want you to be Happy and Safe! Love you, mom
hitting the ground running, but maybe not running too fast. that's what I think is necessary. the truth is that i have been blessed to not have a job this long, so i should enjoy what freedom i've got left and then get my hands dirty with stuff to do again. preferably near friends. LA - you will see my naive little face in the eventuale. Meantime, i think i get to celebrate another beautiful fall a little closer to home. you can win and you can lose, or you can opt out entirely and just enjoy sweet reality.
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