Hi my dear family friends. Sorry about yesterday. I am off my rocker, but shite, what the heck am I supposed to be feeling after a week of such beauty with true friends and then coming home to "hurry hurry" alone alone aloneness? I have to get out of this town, though I love the land so and the strangers here. I miss my true-est openminded buddies, from birth to high school, from high school til now. That's you Mom, Dad, Heather, Matty, Mikie, Joey, Darin, Doniella, Suze, Carol Ann, Rebecca, Colleen, Eva, Mary, Ruebi, Mandy, Sarah M., Sarah N., Amy, Jenny, Stan O. now sweet Phil, Emma, Candice, Kaitlyn, etc etc etc the list goes so on.
So anyhoo, Havasu. It really was the trip of a lifetime. I have been on lots of adventures, as you all know recently London and Paris and have been on so many road trips and travels to everywhere....but this one really hit the nail on the head. I know it's not just a passing whim because few of my travels have left me so influenced by such strong feelings afterwards. I don't wanna live away from you. I don't want to try to make people like me or understand that being nice isn't being uncool. I don't want to try to promote kindness and plain old cheery friendliness like I feel I have to in this town. I feel like the poster girl for effing niceness in this town, trying SOOO hard just to have a friendly dorky conversation with people my age here. Been tryin almost 4 years now. SO LAME. I just want to be around other people like me where I don't have to try to be cool or slowly EARN my way under anyone's skin just to make them like me. I want to be close to the people most like me, people not quite so calm and artistically grown up. People not afraid to dance at bar jukeboxes, lay in empty streets, watch meteor showers together, hike together, compare cellulite, scream with happiness when people walk into a room, get collectively drunk, trip down the midnight streets towards Gil's, spin like fools under the stars, learn everything they can and talk about it, encourage hope and knowledge, teach others, talk LOUDER THAN ANYONE, be complete and utter idiotic dorks. Family, insane family, you are my lifeblood, I am so lucky!
I have been SO missing the trueness that our family luckily has the wherewithall and the childlikeness and the compassion to hold onto. We are rare, you all are so rare, and I appreciate you all beyond any words, beyond life and death. We were given by God or the universe or whatever higher power you believe in, a strong grip on the childlike geeky idiotic passion of life. You are my favorite friends forever, and that includes all the friends not just the siblings, you are all a part of the non-snobbery, the compassion heart, the wake-up-early-just-to-be-alive gang.
A beautiful motley crew we are, ragged with the hope of life. Ragged with bleary smiles of what we are grateful for presently and the sweet sweet sadness of the things we cannot hold forever but that we can always treasure. Even this life is that!
I loved the caravan ride there. I loved changing seats, perusing for snacks in air-conditioned shops safe from the hot heat, yelling outside of In 'n' Out, the boys running up mountains, broken down Bristlecone moments, pee sunsets, trippy Hoover Dam, driving fast fast fast and then slow slow slow, the dumb argument at the motel, setting our alarms for 2:30, 3:00, 4:00 am- taking hours to get ourselves over the hilltop down into that beautiful canyon. I loved jumping in, walking on canyon dust, seeing the village, laughing like idiots with you all. Amy breaking the ice to get us into that Circle Dance.
Someday let's all buy that 150 acres and build our little habitats. They will be beautiful. We GOT TO MAKE OUR OWN VILLAGE TOO! Our own tribe under the starlight!
8 comments:
i love the title of this ade. this is so beautiful and so true! i was going to write a post called "let's make our own village." maybe i still will and just expand on the ideas. no one will ever have to be convinced to be cheerful or kind or loveable because that will be the dna of the community, the blood and bones of it, nice nice nice people with nothing to prove and everyone to love.
get your arsey back over here and live with us and make treats and crafts and music and join the book club we are starting and film silly movie scenes and heartwrenching ones too and we will keep clean kitchens together and feed stray cats and be in love with life...all of us together, our tribe. love you so much honey.
Honeybunch, what a wonderful blog starting with a picture up on the rim that couldn't have been better. I too would like to have you and Art right here in this little habitat of P'ville, but only if it is the best for you guys. We can be close as a family even if we don't live all in the same location. Families can be together forever (where have I heard that, I wonder) Look at Matt and Amy & family--it seems lately we see them more than you and you guys are just around the corner. Yea we had a unique and carzy/wonderful time at Havasu. That memory is one that can be recalled with clarity the rest of our days on this earth. You all are healthy, strong and fantastic people and I LOVE YOU
Dad
Dits. = ditto. I believe in every speck of this. Why are we forced to cling to molecules of radiance in a torrent rushing blackness against our bodies outside? As pounding specks of light i love this shine ms Adrienne. We make every sunset brighter than the last. Thank you for realizing the sheer excellency of it all - and here's to Beattyland and everything it smears its madness through. I'm in on the town idea. Count me bigtime in.
PS - that last post was Mikie.
Adie, I had the best time with you. I loved watching you. You remind me so much of bella, or bella reminds me so much of you. such beauties. Anyways, that is by far the greatest picture of the trip. All of us together. I wish it was always that way. But while we are apart we need to make the most of it. for this is life. We long for you all here, but its you all that keep us motivated to get out of debt so we can live a full fun fancy free life. I love you all and can't wait for another walk in the rain with the soft red dirt beneath our feet.
Dang !!!!!!! AMY! I forgot to put you in my list of favorite true friends! (at first I forgot darin too, I had to go back and edit him in) LIKE I will with you...right now. There are just many good faces to remember! I love you, you are such a STRONG one amy.
Addie, I miss you sweetie. I love that picture of you all up on the rim. Alls you needed was me in there! Ha! Someone should photoshop me in. I agree with you about our family, it is the best. I hope we all never live too far from each other. I miss you all every day, Love Mom
I love that picture too. And I agree with pretty much everything you said Adie. I'm glad our journey was so epic. It really couldn't have been better. Love you Adie, and Art too, whose dried earth-products rule the world.
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