I dont fall in love with characters

I fall in love with actresses.

Common themes here:

1 - Years of singularity in terms of relationship-status.
2 - Extremely selective taste in women (leads friends/family to question sexual orientation).
3 - Of selected extremes, the few emergent females are predominantly actresses.
4 - This predominance, like science, interweaves between everything else in my life.

So what am I learning?

I am on a quest. A big one. The superceding massive quest, one tying together all my desires for acting, my love for education, my lust for genuine care-freedom, my social interactions every day-

"do not, for one repulse, forget the purpose you mean to effect"

And I never have. I moved to Santa Cruz for that purpose. I plowed through school with it. Standing in front of every auditioner with it ringing behind my ears. Every delivery it rings. Every blog and poem, it's ringing. Right now, last night, tomorrow, Jurassic Park, Lauren Moore, J.R.R. Tolkein, Financial Aid, plays plays plays ring ring RING! it never stops ringing, singing, stinging me awake at night, driving me, pulling me, tight with motivation, on a string, rope together what I need, bring me that horizon, eletrical towers lining up along the distance, down a valley towards my future, ringing singing stinging Future, Purpose that I certainly can never forget -

I mean, how can you forget something when every time you lay down to sleep, it's laying right there next to you, reminding you:

You're still alone.




PS - Shakespeare quote is wrong, and I don't really care.