you never feel ready enough for something like this. i am not kidding you. your brain races relentlessly, over and over repeating bits and pieces of the things you've read, snapping up new ideas and turning them over, obsessing over literary time periods, (as i tried to rest at 4:30 in the morning, the word "MODERNISM" was repeating itself over and over and over again in my poor exhausted brain).
finally you just get there and you are amongst friends who become so dear to you because they are in the same place, mentally, physically and spiritually, as you. and you are sitting amongst all these earnest and devoted and brilliant people as you type for hours and hours in a computer lab, stretching and forcing your brain to remember facts and connections about all these texts you have read and, really, know so well.
here i am studying a couple days before the exam. this is what my life looked like the entire past week. days went by without leaving the house. as you guys know, i felt guilty even talking on the phone for ten minutes. i knew that amongst these books was where i belonged!
I even took a picture of my many brand new gray hairs for you guys.
The exam ended at 3:00 pm and Darin met me in the hallway and got to meet a bunch of my comrades. He had been so sweet to me all day, waking up even earlier than me to start coffee and get my bagel ready (which I couldn't even eat till my lunch break) listening to me endlessly obsessing on the car ride down, driving my around like a loving chauffer, and really just feeling and knowing the truest depths of my anxiety and passion in relation to this exam.
Afterwards we all went to Hoppy's to celebrate; This is most of my infamous study group. On the right, front to back: Millie, Emily, Emily's sweet husband Nate who let us meet at their house Sunday after Sunday, Katie Post, and Jeff, and then on the left is me, of course, hilarious Ron, and Julie. I can't emphasize how endearing it is to study literature HARDCORE with a bunch of book lovers. you just see how hard they work and think about this stuff, and the nice sets of notes that they print up for everybody and the support they all give...it was quite an experience.
Then we met up with even more of our friends at Magpie, the adorable cafe that Rebecca's brother Eddie and his wonderful wife Jenelle opened recently. It was a gorgeous afternoon for sitting in the sun, drinking blood orange cider and debriefing. it was amazing how high all of our energy was at that point! Here are Rocky (adorable girl from El Dorado Hills) on the left, Chris Rose in the middle (loves ecocriticism) and Jeff (painter) on the left.
Even Zack, Rebecca and Sylvan were there to celebrate with us! Rebecca is friends with a lot of the people from my group because she is also an English student at Sac State.
This is Heather Watson-Perez, one of my fellow interns from last semester, with her husband Peter. It was so fun to get to meet a lot of the significant others!
This is Rocky and her man Josh. He was fun to talk to...lives in San Jose where they want to buy a house but he is from Shingle Springs; the opposite of all of us because he claims he's only read 4 books!
Katie and Brent Post...such a great couple. Brent is in vet school at UC Davis. We love them!
And of course, my sweet love Darin and I. This was taken later that night at karaoke, which we really wimped out on because at that point the energy levels had dropped to the floor.
And I just have to include this one of Emily and I because she was one of my biggest supporters. I wish I had one with Noel too. These darling angels brought me home gorgeous flowers, hyacinths, to congratulate me and had been thinking about me and sending me good energy all day! Joey too. He kept calling me to try to find out how I did. Addie too. You guys are awesome. Thanks so much for caring and understanding what I was going through, and sorry you had to hear my ridiculous recitations for so long!
And Momma, if you are reading this, I think your gorgeous card gave me good luck through the test. I had it in my purse the whole time, the candy bar too, and also I wore the necklace and earrings you got me from Cookie Lee for luck!
6 comments:
yay for HEB!! I cant believe this girl. SHE HAS HER MASTERS! And you should see her now! Waking up at 8am, cleaning the house happily, watering our garden, wanting mellow movie nights at home, cuddling with her daphne. SHE IS AT PEACE! NO MORE RACING MIND! :) Congrats heather, you are DONE! Now what will you put your marvelous mind to next.....?
Some of those quotes...stuck with me in my mind.... for who knows how long! "The glasses had flushed yellow and flushed crimson, had been empty, had been filled; and thus by degrees was lit, half-way down the spine, which is the seat of the soul....the more profound, subtle subterranean glow which is the rich yellow flame of rational intercourse...."
"What it was, whether beast or human being, one could not tell: it groveled, seemingly, on all fours; it snatched and growled like some strange wild animal: but it was covered with clothing; and a quantity of dark, grizzled hair, wild as a mane, hid its head and face"
anyhooo...Honey I am so veritble proud of ye. I am so excited for the day when you come home to tell me the details of yer own dang students!
Well honey, what an accomplishment!!Congratulations. And you didn't make any bones about it you just did it. Ya Emily asked it in her comment 'what next' I guess just a rest for awhile, right. Joey and Emily want to go camping soon, that would be refreshing. Will be thinking about someplace to go for a short trip with lots of fun.
ade you got those quotes down more perfectly than i did!
Heather, I am so proud of you!! You worked so hard and you did it! My own precious, smiling, happy girl. I love all your quotes, we could all learn so much from you. Tell me about the quotes from Adie, who wrote them? I was so involved in my trip to Utah, sorry I wasn't here during your trial, but how much fun we had when you came out to be with me and the babes!! Love you so much darling, thank you for all the fun times and memories. My darling darling girl!
Heather, you're rockin, even with those gray hairs. I'm an envious and proud little brother all at the same time. You're inspiring!
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