Trouble season love mish-mash

List of People I miss, in no particular order:

Justin, Jessica, Nikki, Craig, Jimmy, Sean, Heather, Addie, Matt, Amy, Jarom, Bella, Oey, Mom, Dad, Jamie, Stan, Joey, Candice, myself- Here Goes:

I woke up this morning with a strange feeling
of half-empty. and not from hunger pangs
no this was insatiable
unquenchable. indiscernable.
a rare little lacking
i've felt it before
I'd love to nail it
squeezed like a pimple
let's ooze out the middle
and kill the craving
with sweet satisfaction
here goes:

Life is suffering, the Buddhists say.
So, I'm sitting in a poop-smelling chair, at this Junior College of Strangers, feeling stranger than ever.
As Great Fall approaches, fast
what is this half-empty! Let's figure it out.
I eat well, I sleep enough.
I lie low, sound, out of trouble- wait,
could that be it, no trouble, too much so?
maybe my mind wants to grow,
to go, to sing and fling,
but is smothered by quieting
"trying too hard", I worry somewhat
am quiet. reserved. contemplative.
In shackles of sorts, the kind that invisibly
bind to the bedframe, so even a good day
of clean fun seems heavy or troublesome.
Trouble.
See lately I worry a lot
but oh-no, to be free again!
on that last day of summer I plopped all my goods
into poor Rocinante and chugged both brains back down
"to Santa Cruz we go" for another confused go
at the winter season. All I have craved
since I've landed is freedom.
wing-spanning freedom.
(I suppose that I've found some Well,
the temporary kinds;
the kinds that a traveling job can provide
both from people and food.. hints at the real stuff)
I think what it is: we need trouble again.
Worry-free, excellent Trouble to spin in
Where can I find it? How can I kill
these grumblings with some delicious Trouble!?
The better question, alluding
to my list above: Who will share it with me?
You see, it's not so bad finding Trouble alone.
For example:
Waking one morning alert with conviction,
a brand new paper paycheck takes you to the store
fighting demons in traffic you dream of the force
with a sword and your cap you throw down your wallet
declaring a purchase and Sold! now you own it
the New Zelda Game.. handed into your palm,
how it glistens thick and square, it's plastic revealing
the swirly dark colours of artwork and years,
hidden treasures inside of a land full of dungeons
and stories to travel, you sign away nothing
now holding this gem, with a huge happy grin
you wave a quick farewell to the seller
and hop out the door into sunny Good Morning
unwrapping the masterpiece between fingers
staring wide-eyed, gently pop open the case
feather through the booklet of colorful art
you can almost taste the new adventure burning
into the pages..oh the New Zelda Game.
Trouble. these are the troubles I seek.
The kinds that are timeless,
as children we crave them
like Cadbury eggs-
there's nothing so precious
the innocent pleasure
in cupping your eyes
awaiting surprise
whether 20 or 30 or 60 or 5
we love to have Trouble
fulfilling our lives.
My Trouble today: Monday 10/8/07
Laze around all morning, making breakfast, cleaning house, blaring No Use For A Name, looking at photo albums, toying with the new Zelda, on a week day! Now that's Trouble.
Too bad alone-time fun can only go on,
well, alone - and for only so long.
Then you need someone else
to share all the wonders.
That's what friends and family are for.
Yesterday's Trouble: Tuesday 10/7/07
Candice and me up to Half Moon Bay for pumpkin patches and pumpkin pie, then to San Francisco to find Joey Stan Natalia, crazy parking so that we could eat at a healthy Pluto's, then down the sunsetting ocean we drive to go spunging behind the old bathhouses, then back through the city to find Ghiradelli, having chocolate and coffee and late-night rate-gaming, then back driving home we go, full of talking and sharing stories.
at day's end with some free Beckmann's pies
of Marion, Rhubarb and Strawberry kinds.

I'm trouble-hungry, folks. Anyone else feel this bug licking away in our tummies? Starving my soul for some innocent Trouble. For video games, rock climbing, midnight dancing, chanting and stomping, for spinning in circles under the moonlight, or simply watching a radical movie with my loved-ones. Yup.
This is me, Mikie.
That's about it. Bye