I'm leaving tomorrow but I could leave today

I've gotta get a move on, head for the sun
I hear my baby calling my name and I know that she's the only one
and if I die in Raleigh, least I will die free

I told Meg and Kai, I'm feeling particularly boyish this morning. But that's because I am a boy, I guess.

So, Joey wrote about the Grand Canyon, and he's right. It's all right there, way over there, far away from here, yet still there it is, and here, here I am. The funny thing about choosing a life, choosing a job, choosing a career, choosing a family, television, washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers - it's that after all is said and done you can still walk out into an open, empty rolling field with nothing but a pack as your bag, a knotty stick as your mate and experience a thrilling sudden cast of doubt against everything you've ever known. You can spend your whole person dedicated towards a fantastic idea and way of life, and then suddenly find subject every inkling of your choices to doubt, no thanks to some empty rolling fields and a bright sun above. It's a beautiful, frightening, significant state of being.

Today I was sitting on a bike path looking at some doodles I had drawn in my little red book whena pretty natural girl whizzed down the path next to me, smiling at me, the two of us momentarily alone in the big spacious yellow. She was gone with a "shwoosszz"and I watched her go, wondering 'why am I not there?' riding my bike on a path in the fields. Basically, I've missed something recently, something not entirely Here, something more natural and awake, and a little different than the rest of these things. These choices, some temporary some longterm. It's in my system to feel them again, at least temporarily before I dive headfirst into the next thick sauces of whatevers past these misty bridges.

Ok in other words, I want to go away, see, feel, hear, get. Take the lenses out, strap the goggles above my forehead, see. This is my last stretch of "college," and I'm stoked to see what pulls me next. Ciao journal dorkiness,

*Mikie