All for Love and Love for All

I don't know what happened, but now there's cooked tofu and peppers in my fridge, and I like it.

It's the 8'th of the month, or so. I'm fairly happy, if not totally unsure as to who I am and where I'm going.
Yeah, sure I'd like to see some things. I mean, who wouldn't? those things are just sitting there anyway, accomplishing their purposes independently from my seeing them, yet still they remain to be seen. Well I want to see things, and a lot of things at that. And here I am, sitting in front of this massive screen in Santa Cruz by the beach, finishing a night from a dinner well-composed. And friends from various groups and places, well met. I was called Keanu Reeves tonight, but because of my "boyish looks and cocky attitude". Humm. Well if Keanu can pull off dudeishm and cock in one actor's life-span, then I'm in.
But tonight was a good night. Daniel and I spent a better part of the day here at home, sitting around shirtless, talking about philosophies and calling friends to attend our ritual Sunday dinner. Then I left, explored some Santa Cruz, some UCSC, some more Santa Cruz, and then returned to cook up a hefty curried tofu and brown rice dish. Alex, Daniel and myself joined in the celebrations as would any typical wineys, and then came the guests. By an hour later, close to 16 people were here, sharing foods and talking and laughing. Golly gee I like it. We played a game of drawing-telephone, and then danced into the evening. Eventually our unfortunately thin-wall-divided downstairs neighbors showed up to ask a pleasant shutup, and we did. Some left, some congregated on the balcony, and I, alone, went to the kitchen to clean up the dishes and think about my sitch.
Wow, I love.
Why is it that whenever us beatty's talk about Love you roll your eyes and grit your teeth? At least, that's what I'd assume you would do. The reality is this: we love. We love to see people together, to watch communities grow, to feel spirits freed, to experience the fantasies of a real life living. I love it, so so much. I love to watch my body and mind grow, and experiences awaken my eyes to new things. I love to feel the closeness of people sharing common ideals and loves as well, and in the end to be left alone is one of the most sweetest bitter moments of them all, because it's when I smile quietly knowing who wasn't finally included, and what things I might have seen differently otherwise. I am single, yes, and the beautiful girl I'm currently pedastalizing did not come despite my multiple invitations. My family is of the group of people who constantly are telling me "you can have any girl you want". It's moments like these that I'm wisely reminded why argue with them whenever they make this claim. So as I'm doing the leftover dishes, alone in a big kitchen after a night of fun and friends and food, I am smiling to cool gust of air coming through the window knowing that in my aloneness I am only a happy and temporary boy.
There are things I want to see out there, outside the bounds of this enclosed forested city. There are places beyond the bulwarks guarding my corner of the ocean here by our school, and someday soon enough I'll be making my way someward in a direction other than this one. So girls, you may miss your chance, loves lost and what have you, I am on my ship out and I can't wait to see where the captain takes me next. And so, us sheepish beatty passionlike beings, I Love it all right here, right now. It's all for Love, and the things to come. Happy first Sunday Night Dinner, yo.
Love Mikie